How to Get Good at Tennis and Qualify for Wimbledon
It’s not easy to be a writer in 2020. There are so many distractions. My computer, the thing I use to write, is also a portal to infinite information. Plus, there’s a smaller computer in my pocket at all times that periodically demands my attention with a ping or buzz.
It must have been a lot easier to be a writer before the internet was invented. All you had to do was sit down, pick up a pen (quill?) and start writing.
Millennials like me simply don’t have the attention span for that. Which is why instead of going out and buying a quill and inkpot, I just Googled, “what should I write about?”
I landed on a page called “81 Topic Ideas for Writing a Blog That Matters.” There were some great jumping off points. Number 27: Hamburgers. Number 32: Ghost Hunting.
I finally came to the perfect idea. Number 67: Getting Good at Tennis and Qualifying for Wimbledon. So I now present to you my guide on Getting Good at Tennis and Qualifying for Wimbledon.
Step one: buy a tennis racket
If you want to qualify for Wimbledon, the first thing you’ll need is a tennis racket. If you don’t have a tennis racket, you can purchase one at any sporting goods store. I personally have never set foot inside a sporting goods store, but I’ve heard they exist.
If a tennis racket is out of your budget, try using household objects instead. For example, a sturdy frying pan can easily be substituted for a tennis racket.
Step two: get a cute tennis outfit
If you get to Wimbledon without a cute outfit, you will be the laughingstock of the whole tournament. Look for something that’s fashionable yet practical. For inspiration, check out the outfit Serena Williams wore to her last Wimbledon tournament:
Step three: learn the rules of tennis
Some people find the rules of tennis confusing. I’ll break it down for you in a few easy steps:
Hit the ball over the net
Repeat
Step four: book a ticket to Wimbledon
You’ll never qualify for Wimbledon sitting on the couch at home! Go to Wimbledon to show them you’re really serious about qualifying. They’ll admire your go-getter attitude.
Pro tip: check Google Flights for deals. I was able to find a flight to Wimbledon for only $250!
Step five: get a Nike sponsorship
This is a great way to let people know you’re a serious athlete. Try emailing Nike to ask for a sponsorship deal. If you don’t hear back, just buy a pair of Nikes and tell everyone you got them for free.
Congratulations! You are now good at tennis and qualify for Wimbledon.
If you follow the simple steps above, you’re a shoo-in for Wimbledon! Don’t forget to believe in yourself, ignore the haters and follow your dreams!